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Always ¡@ Joy Jeng


Mama¡¦s One Saying requires some thought.  That means picking one single saying from my mama¡¦s endless supply of maxims, which isn¡¦t easy.  Pondering this, the first one that comes to my mind is, ¡§Put on a sweater.  It¡¦s cold.¡¨  Next there¡¦s, ¡§This is for your own good, Joy, not mine,¡¨ followed by, ¡§Just because everyone is doing it doesn¡¦t mean it¡¦s the right thing to do.¡¨  Somewhere along that line also lies, ¡§If you can¡¦t sleep at night, get up and find something constructive to do.¡¨  These are Mama¡¦s most common and sometimes annoying sayings.  But, pondering even further, I find that there is one saying of my mama¡¦s that overrides all of the others.  It says more about her than any of her other motherly proverbs. I know.  Mama¡¦s one saying to me will always be this.  My mama¡¦s one saying to me is, ¡§I love you.¡¨ 

I¡¦ve been hearing this ever since I was born.  I have a beautiful singing mother and when I was a baby, my mama would sing the songs she learned as a girl in Taiwan.  She sang me children¡¦s songs, about donkeys and frogs and the rain and little monkeys that did different things on the different days of the week.  She sang songs for every kind of flower there is.  Mama especially loved songs that were really poems put to music, because they had such beautiful lyrics.  But these were usually long and melodious and served as my lullabies.  She knew I couldn¡¦t understand a word she said.  But it was my mama¡¦s way of showing her love, and the singing was good for both of us.  Often we both fell asleep in the rocking chair after a particularly long and sad song. 

I grew.  When I began walking and talking, I was a lot more interesting, Mama says.  We had a lot more fun.  We had long discussions about the world.  We had moved to Missouri by this time, and most these discussions took place during our walks around the block.  We talked about what mushrooms were, how high clouds were, how flowers got their smell, and why the snow was white.  I had some pretty bizarre questions, but mama answered them all, patiently.  Her favorite question came up one day I asked my mama, ¡§Do you love me?¡¨  Mama smiled at me, and said, ¡§Of course I love you.  I¡¦ll love you forever.  You¡¦re my little precious,¡¨ and gave me a kiss. 

By the time I started school, I talked to Mama about just about everything.  We had wrangles over homework and violin lessons.  We had long, sweet talks about nothing in particular, lying in bed just before I fell asleep.  When I had a problem, I took it to mama and she helped me through it, just like she helped me draw the hands on my people because I can¡¦t draw hands.  Sometimes mama got mad at me and shouted, but that didn¡¦t happen very often.  This is about the time when mama¡¦s stock of sayings began to flower.  The first couple ones were, ¡§Go practice violin,¡¨ ¡§Finish your homework,¡¨ and ¡§Extra credit is not an option.¡¨  That one made me feel rebellious.  If it was an option to everybody else, why was it mandatory for me just because my mama said so?  But I did all the extra credit the teacher gave me.  My mama also said, ¡§Never do less than your best.¡¨  She said, ¡§I don¡¦t care if everybody else can.  You can¡¦t because your mother says No.¡¨  That made me feel even more rebellious.  But, however mad I got at my mama and her sayings, I knew they were for my good because every day, she told me, ¡§I love you. You¡¦ll always be my precious.¡¨  It was a comfort to fall asleep knowing mama loves me.  When I asked, ¡§Do you love me?¡¨ to make sure, the answer was always ¡§Yes, yes, yes!¡¨

Now that I¡¦m in high school, Mama¡¦s sayings are no fewer and¡Xhorrors¡Xthey¡¦re different!  I hadn¡¦t thought it possible for my mama to think of any more words of wisdom.  But she has!  Now, mama¡¦s most common sayings are about what I wear, what I do at school, what I do after school, etc. etc. etc.  Now, the irritating ones are about how I dress.  ¡§They can wear clothes like that because their mothers let them.  You can¡¦t because your mother won¡¦t let you.¡¨  ¡§Too short.¡¨  ¡§Go upstairs and change.¡¨  Sometimes I spend long hours planning an outfit for tomorrow¡Xnot an outfit that will look good, but an outfit that will pass mama¡¦s bar of judgment.  But my mama is still there for me.  No matter how many arguments we get into, she is still there.  We still have the talks, maybe not about clouds and flowers, but things that help us learn from each other. 

My mama has taught me a lot since I was a baby.  Besides songs, stories, math, drawing hands, and making pies and cookies, I¡¦ve learned that there will never be an end to Mama¡¦s sayings.  As I grow older and go into college, get married, and have babies of my own, she will always have advice for me.  They will never be the same¡Kfive years from now won¡¦t find my mama scolding me for not practicing violin¡Kbut she¡¦ll be helping me on something else.  I can¡¦t see what yet.  That is why Mama¡¦s one saying for me is ¡§I love you,¡¨ because I take her word that she always will.  This is one thing that will always be the same, never ever change; it hasn¡¦t changed yet from when I was a baby and needed long boring songs to put me to sleep.  That¡¦s a comfort, too.  I know that everything will be all right as long as I ask my mama, ¡§Do you love me?¡¨ and she says, ¡§Yes.  Because you¡¦re my little precious and I¡¦ll love you forever.¡¨  My mama¡¦s one saying is ¡§I love you.¡¨  Mama I love you, too.  Happy Mother¡¦s Day.